Who Are We?

Today's post features an anonymous poem that is filled with intricate expressions, deep metaphors and bittersweet confessions. Author wishes to remain unknown. [All rights reserved, 2024].

Who Are We?

Let them see you,

In me.

Let them hear you...

When I speak.

Let them feel you,

When they see me.

Let them find you,

Within me.

I spoke the truth in the darkness,

Wanting you to bear witness.

In my mind, I traveled to all the realms...

A billion simulations.

Once you break the silence,

You'll be awakened.

You're so easy to love,

Yet so easy to hate.

I saw us like 2 free doves...

But you never left the gate.

Anything is just enough,

I wonder if it isn't too late.

Did you believe we should both suffer this fate?

Or would we give it a shot, finally granting us a "date"?

Driving back down that road 

Led me to a confusing route of codes.

I thought that I needed to pretend to love her, to see the person inside you.

Turns out, she was angry when I said nothing she said was true.

Your words, or hers? So full of color

She convinced me without you, I could still love another.

The truth is, I only saw you through her words...

I know it sounds mean, crazy and absurd.

You're larger than all my love

It's gonna be a good life when we're together above...

But...

...then I realized it was only just a dream.

You never actually told me it would be you and me.

Helpless, defeated, re-reading all the words she meant,

I thought maybe, just maybe you had some part in all the letters she sent.

Clocks, ticking to my heart beat,

Beating seconds, wondering if I'll meet...

The projection in my mind still strong

I would long,

For a word or sign from you to feed my heart...

But with no words, I am frozen and filled with regret.

Why is love so important?

Why is it this complicated?

Is it thought to bring magic?

No magic in this life...

Weak minds have broken the love in me a half dozen times.

Losing count, nobody wants a losing chance.

Loving myself still won't come easy.

How can it? 

The only one I loved made me dizzy, still feels content with letting me believe this.

Still okay that I have no proof you care,

No good memories to share.

Courage led to triumph,

She convinced me to try and reach out.

I crashed down and now I regret it because I'm filled with even more doubts.

Nobody sees my heart, nobody listens,

The pain is overwhelming, visited by an everlasting sharp tension.

I daydream, as thoughts begin to float.

I wonder how confusion led me to set sail on this empty boat.

I was waiting to take off with the one who completes me,

Only to find that I've been abandoned, I was wrong...why couldn't I see?

Could it be?

Did I actually...

Love someone...like this?

I refuse to believe a human being could ever mean that.

But then I reflect on my own memories...

The friends and family I gave all my time and energy.

Nobody ever cared,

I'd never dare...

To reach out and show myself

For they rip you up and throw you on the shelf.

They then complain how your shredded remains bother them,

Forgetting it was their own actions that gave rise to thoughts so dumb, 

They just make me feel numb.

They live their lives, continue to be happy

Not understanding the pain inside me.

They laugh, move on and withdraw,

I am nearly gone, now.

Drowning

Frozen

Afraid

Lost

Alone

Helpless

I'd rather die here alone than to beg for anyone's help or attention.

I was just fine without them, and something in this person just caused me to try love's redemption. 

I was stupid to actually make the assumotion.

That this human being could love me without hesitation.

For starters, they never said a single thing to me

Tell me, is this not the definition of someone who doesn't give a fuck about my wellbeing?

Perhaps this individual believes he has gone above and beyond for me...

But he never did. His mind creates false memories.

I hate to feel numb but I love it

The numbness reminds me I'll never fit...

In with another person.

My heart beats alone, and it will forever. Without a reason,

To love I'll stay strong to bring others peace.

The water is calm, feels like the eternal pulse,

Of the world that is often cruel, full of hearts that are false.

I miss those eyes, the imagination, the songs, the feeling of exasperation.

Tirelessly writing, feeding mine and his soul with nourishment.

Beauty in Euphoria, ecstasy, and free fall to my destruction.

No ecstacy, nobody can be my ecstasy

Nobody to be my real life's fantasy.

None have remained in my life to continue the next chapter in "our" story.

Even the one from before, she was inflated with lies and tragedy. 

For it was all in a dream

Felt it aligned with the dream

In reality but it was just a dream

A dream that has gone far away...or so it seems.

Why then, do they tell us to love?

Why then do they break us up?

Why do we love and lose?

Over and over, this cycle has me fooled.

I'll march to the beat of my own heart

Alone, soft touch... Nobody calls

I'm calling out to who?

You...

But you never knew.

Blind and deaf, invisible and new,

You were never mine, she fooled me to instill humor in you.

Perhaps together you both laughed as my messages came through,

Exchanging between one another each day, while I was drowning in confusion alone, shot down for things my intuition already knew. 

Broke the natural guidance system inside me to find you,

Now I sit and wonder why it was ever worth it, I never even got a single message out of you?

It is like an empty love, the worst form of love

Not free, but chained, waited and waited for months just to get a message from above.

You didn't respond, you never did.

ALl you did was hurt me with silence, and then you hid.

She had a field day messing with my head,

And you just let her, allowing your own insecurities to fill your head with dread.

You trapped me in a simulation with an evil b****, 

All she did was know how to target the darkest fragments of my heart, and operate as one major glitch.

In return, I got silence but empty gifts that meant nothing.

I couldn't even see the necklace I got you, in the form of a selfie, or to feel it against your chest breathing.

No, I couldn't even get the minimum from you,

And it makes me wonder what else you could do?

What other things would you and her have in store for me?

To cut off my circulation, so that I would be free from this hell on Earth's misery?

Caused by two dark minds who wanted revenge?

Who then, will come to make amends?

I was never given the chance to say sorry,

So tell me, what did I do in order to get back nothing? Not even one single clue?

You used me like a toy, to simulate a perfect future,

Now, you broke me, she came in with the final blow...everything is now a blur.

Lies, lies, lies I was fed...

All I gave you was my heart and forgave you for all the things she said.

Still this was not enough,

You let me call each and every one of yours or her bluff.

Cracked

Numb

But pain free

The best way to be.

For love is not meant for me

Otherwise I would not be sitting here, still waiting in agony.

They say it's hard, this is far beyond misery.

This is my new prison, once considered a light haven, our nest, has now become my darkest sanctuary.